The Challenge of Growing Through Humiliation

I forgive you, but I will not forget the offense! That is how it is. What a great mystery this human behavior is! We forgive (apparently), but that unhealthy thorn of resentment remains lodged in us

along with bitterness, and we deliberately decide not to forget, to keep tucked away in some little corner of the heart the insult, the supposed outrage that shook our self-esteem, our honor, our sense of shame... our Christian witness. No, I will not be able to forget it. And so time passes, and arrogance and pride take possession of the soul and give way to haughtiness, to anger—in short, to sin. “No, I cannot even hear that name or bear his presence; hearing his voice exasperates me. I forgave him, but I find it very hard to put up with him.” Situations like these and similar remarks among God’s people are not so unusual, incredible as it may seem.

The question is: Is that forgiveness? The Bible says no. “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart” (Mt 18:35). As long as you keep building an “altar to saints you have no devotion to,” whether in your church or outside it, the shadow of discontent will steal your joy and pursue you until you submit to God’s authority and humble yourself before Him, allowing His will to govern the circumstances. Only then will true forgiveness spring from the heart, and His peace reign once more.

All the causes of our problems with our brothers and sisters in the faith and with the people around us spring from our inner struggles, our personal frustrations, our rebelliousness, our fleshly passions, and the deepest human feelings that ally themselves with sin. When a Christian begins to toy with the world, seeking to justify human reasoning and rejecting God’s wisdom, that Christian evades the always rational and loving counsel of our own Creator. We are reluctant to humble ourselves because we have not understood that all authority and sovereignty come from God, that His plan is far better than ours, and that He is always in control of what happens throughout His creation.

When we do not submit to God’s authority, the first sin to creep in is pride, self-sufficiency. It will never let us make room for His will, only for our own. Dissatisfaction and discontent will follow; greed, envy, unease, and doing things “my way” will rear their heads. The world is at war with God. If we believe that, as Christians, we can dance to the tune dictated by the world’s tastes and preferences, we are mistaken and, saddest of all, we make ourselves enemies of God. The apostle James makes this clear: “You adulterous people! Don’t you know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Anyone who wants to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God” (Jas 4:4). Adultery is synonymous with unfaithfulness, with corruption.

The good news is that Christ helps us grow despite these blunders; we only have to humble ourselves. To humble ourselves is to let Him take control, to lay aside our contentious impulses in sincere prayer, and to allow His grace to flood every corner the enemy has tried to seize because of our human weakness. If Christ humbled Himself and became obedient (Phil 2:8), He will give us strength and power to humble ourselves before Him when the sin of pride tries to bring us down. Even better news from God: “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up” (Jas 4:10).

When we humble ourselves before Christ, we draw closer to Him; it is the most fitting and spiritual way to submit to His authority and lordship over our lives. This is only natural, since a Christian who tries to live independently will always run up against the truth of the Word, which calls us to be obedient. Letting God control our lives is unquestionably best. Allowing Him to intervene in resolving everyday conflicts and problems will spare us many more stumbles than we imagine. And when it comes to disputes and quarrels with fellow believers—taking it as understood from the outset that none of this has any place in the Christian life—even when we are right about the matter, the Lord’s counsel could not be better: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves” (Phil 2:3).

Humility is a virtue, and the Lord longs for us to imitate Him in this too, whatever the circumstances. He… gives grace to the humble (Prov 3:34b), and He is the example of humility that all His children should follow. “… learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Mt 11:29).

God bless you!