The Challenge of Growing in the Proper Use of the Tongue

I have always admired people who express themselves well and who are gentle and prudent when offering any opinion or making any judgment.

I met Pastor Lesdia Núñez one morning in March 2005, and the first thing that struck me about her was her lilting, gentle way of speaking. Since Lesdia had been a humble servant of God from a very young age and was nearing 70, I was not surprised by the gentle yet persuasive way she used her gift of speech. We always talked about the same subject: Christ, in all his fullness. I still treasure some of the principles and thoughts of Lesdia, who is now in the Lord’s presence, but there is one that does her honor and seems as though it could have come from a Spurgeon sermon: “The children of the King should always speak the language of the court.” Isn’t that beautiful? Isn’t it a lovely exhortation for the body of Christ to speak to one another with words that build it up, and to avoid uttering arguments and murmuring that tear it down?

Murmuring and irresponsible speech in the church (and outside it) have caused much suffering, division, and bitterness among God’s people. Human emotions set traps for us and deceive us; even as we seek to avoid the tongue’s excesses, we give it free rein, and passions are unleashed until they tarnish a brother’s honor and integrity, damage his testimony for no apparent reason, and, saddest of all, disgrace our own as well. We take refuge in an inconsistent religiosity and hide from God’s presence with one hand on our hearts and the other on an apron made of little fig leaves. As if He could not see our spiritual nakedness caused by devastating sin!

The tongue—the very one that blesses and comforts, exhorts for good, and brings joy and hope—veers off the path along which God’s grace moves victoriously. When we fail to rein it in in time, it brings down supposedly noble intentions of the heart and turns the Christian into a little finger with no motivation to grow. “A fool’s mouth is his ruin; his lips are a deadly snare to him” (Prov. 18:7).

The apostle James dashes every hope of those who think they can escape God’s sound judgment: “If anyone considers himself religious but does not rein in his tongue, he deceives himself, and his religion is worthless” (James 1:26). Thank you, James, for the reminder!

The language of the court (that is, the people of God, the body and bride of Christ) should be seasoned with God’s grace and consistent with the convictions we uphold in our daily lives. It is very sad when we realize that there are brothers or sisters whose words are not a true reflection of how they live. They say one thing and do another. They warn against those who murmur and against the misuse of the tongue, yet they are the first to provoke quarrels through the immature haste with which they speak. “A fool’s lips bring strife; his mouth invites a fight” (Prov. 18:6).

Jesus has left us a sobering passage in the Gospel that we ought to treasure in relation to the subject we are discussing. Addressing the Pharisees during one of their attempts to trap the Master, he said to them: “You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks out of the abundance of the heart” (Matt. 12:34, author’s emphasis). Those last words are enough to make us tremble when we reflect on them. The next two verses should not be overlooked in this context; the Lord says that on the day of judgment each of us will have to give an account for every idle word spoken wrongly, spoken according to the flesh to do evil rather than good. Is there anything more idle than gossip and murmuring?

And yet, thank God, the coin has two sides. Our tongue, our speech, should be a torrent of peace and harmony toward others (Christians or not); our words should distill the delicious nectar of God’s grace in our lives. Does He not abound in our hearts?

The apostle Paul wrote to the Colossians, “Let your conversation always be pleasant and in good taste” (Col. 4:6a). In the RV 60 version: “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt.”

We often face difficulties caused by the tongue even in our churches (none is perfect). The easiest thing is always to blame the evil one for our own weaknesses and go on hiding like Adam in the Garden of Eden. Responding to our Lord’s call by obeying his word of truth is the foundation that enables us to grow. Growing by restraining our tongue from speaking evil and from saying what destroys rather than builds up is a great challenge. Only the Spirit can help us in this inner struggle. Let us ask the Lord to help us and give us victory over this widespread evil. Let us say with the psalmist: “With my tongue I will proclaim your righteousness, and I will praise you all day long” (Psalm 35:28).

God bless you!