Submitting to One Another

I want you to turn with me to the word of the Lord in Ephesians chapter 5, and also parts of chapter 6. It is an entire subject that has to do with—as you know—the subject of authority, and we have already spent several weeks on it. Since I was away these past few days, I could not continue with the subject, but there are many things the Lord has placed in my heart, and I feel that this is a foundational sermon series in the sense that it is laying a foundation for the life of our church.

I rarely feel as though—I mean, I rarely feel so convinced that I am preaching in the Spirit, with a prophetic attitude, and that God is speaking to our church and speaking to my life as I do with this sermon series on authority, which, in truth, I had not planned to take in that direction. But God is speaking to us because God wants to prepare us as a church; God wants to prepare us as a community.

You will remember that on October 5 God changed my sermon, and I spoke about how God is preparing to unleash an authority upon His church such as the church has not had until now—or at least not for many, many centuries—and that the church of Jesus Christ has to prepare itself to exercise that authority, which we are going to exercise over nations, over governments, over cultural lives, and over many things, because I believe a revival is coming. And the church of Christ will have authority in this time, and we must handle that authority properly. God wants to develop an apostolic authority over His church. I spoke to you about how, at the beginning of the church of Christ—for example, in the book of Acts—we see that the Apostles had an authority Christ had given them, and they were the authority God used to give His instructions to the first Christians. When there was a doctrinal controversy, or when guidance was needed concerning some decision that would govern the life of the Christian community, they went to the Apostles, who were in contact with God in a special way, and they gave the counsel that the church was then to follow.

That has been lost over time. In fact, something of it still remains in the Catholic Church, which has a very clear hierarchy, and there is leadership; there is a very well-defined structure in the Catholic Church. And when the Pope speaks ex cathedra, seated in his chair of authority, that directive goes throughout the entire church. That comes from those ancient, extremely ancient backgrounds in which there was that sense of authority.

Well, I believe God wants to do something similar in this time, but those leaders who are going to exercise that authority must do so according to the spirit of Jesus Christ—a spirit of serving the people they lead. And, on the other hand, those who are led must also know how to submit to the authority of their leaders so that there can be harmony.

The church cannot function efficiently and effectively unless there is a change in the mindset operating in this time. People are such that everyone wants to do their own thing and everyone has a different opinion, and we live in a culture that greatly exalts opinions and human rights—in which I absolutely believe—as well as democracy, criticism of institutions, and skepticism toward institutions. As I have been told so many times, it is the modern spirit; it is a spirit critical of institutions and leaders.

Leaders have failed us so many times. Why do we have the crisis we currently have in this country’s economy and in the world economy? Because our leaders have allowed themselves to be driven by greed. The financial leaders, the economic leaders of this nation, have exploited us to a certain extent, and they have given us misguided leadership. One of the great scandals of this time has been these executives who award themselves salaries of millions and millions of dollars—tens of millions of dollars—and who often manipulate the figures and the financial books. They have created all kinds of false systems that established a flawed, fragile foundation, and suddenly everything collapsed; everything came crashing down. And we discovered that those leaders had been running pyramid schemes and all kinds of contrivances based on greed and the exploitation of people, and they had not been attentive to the needs of their clientele. In other words, they had been selling defective products, and that has been one of the great scandals.

Unfortunately, even at the government level there has not been proper oversight, and we suffer greatly throughout the world—even in this country, which is relatively benign in the way it is governed, because there are countries much worse than the United States, let me tell you. But even here our leaders have often conspired with financial interests so that everyone involved could enrich themselves. This is a vast conspiracy, and sometimes there are even Christian leaders in government who exploit us and misuse their authority. And that often discredits those people who call themselves Christians. People say, “Look at that senator; look at that congressman saying he is a Christian, and look at how he behaves.”

And this has done great harm in our times, because that is what causes so much suffering: people who are not attentive to the needs of the people and who deceive themselves in order to become rich while pretending that they are looking after the people’s interests.

And the Lord Jesus Christ already saw that centuries ago, and that is why He spoke of leadership that would serve the people—leadership that would not lord it over or exploit those it led, but would instead serve them and take care to pay attention to their needs.

When I was in Africa recently, the subject these young African university leaders asked me to speak about was precisely servant leadership: leadership by servants, leadership that serves, leadership that gives itself to the people over whom it has authority. A Christian leader is a leader who is supposed to bless and serve those over whom he has authority, not take advantage of them. They told me that in Africa, as also happens in Latin America and other parts of the world, there are many leaders—even Christian ones, they said—who, upon coming to power, want to exalt themselves. And there are other Christian leaders who, when they come to power, forget their Christian roots and forget the poor and needy; they simply want people to pay homage to them and give them a great deal of respect and all sorts of things, but they forget that they are servants. So they said, “Please speak about leadership that serves others.”

Let me tell you: leadership that does not serve is no good. That just occurred to me. If you do not serve, you are no good. You have to serve others in order truly to have authority in the Kingdom of God. And with that, by the way, I have already gotten into the sermon, but it is very important for us to understand this aspect.

Now, of course, just as I say one thing, I must say the other: we must also submit to authority. When there is legitimate authority, when there is biblical authority, when there is authority founded upon sound spiritual and Christian values, one must submit and make life simple and pleasant for one’s authorities.

Some people are like a boil. Do you know what a boil is? We Dominicans use that expression. It is like a tumor in one’s side that we leaders suffer from, and we say, “Lord, what a shame! What sin am I paying for that You have put this person here?” Poor Moses had a great deal of difficulty in that area. But I am not referring to you, brothers and sisters; you are a great blessing. You always, always have been. By the way, I thank the Lord for my brothers and sisters at Lion of Judah. Every now and then there is some little thing here or there, but no; normally, thank the Lord, it is a great blessing.

I am looking for a passage—I believe it is Hebrews 13:17—where the Apostle Paul says, for example—look, this is nothing new. The struggle between pastors and congregations and all these things is nothing new. You have to take it with a grain of salt. It comes with the territory, and that is fine, but God tells us to submit.

Look at what verse 17 of Hebrews chapter 13 says: “Obey your pastors and submit to them, for they watch over your souls as those who must give an account, so that they may do so with joy and not complaining, for that would not be profitable for you.”

Do you see? This is nothing new. As early as the first century of the church, the writer of Hebrews was telling the congregations that read his letter, “Look, make life easy for your leaders. Do not make them continually bristle and complain.” Remember poor Moses and what happened to him: they drove him to such anger that he struck the rock with the stick—with the rod. And what happened to poor Moses? He could not enter the Promised Land. They pestered the poor man so much that he blew a fuse.

That is why I am telling you, brothers and sisters, that the Bible has a framework of authority. Authority must be exercised properly, and one must submit to authority properly. And that is why I believe God caught me in a trap and got me talking about this, and I have discovered all the profound dimensions and layers concerning the subject of authority. And I believe God wants to bless our church. God wants the Holy Spirit to move more freely among us, and He wants our various departments and ministries to run smoothly and efficiently when there is that sense that one leader submits to another, and that one submits to another, and the other to another. Then there is a glorious chain of authority in which none of us exploit one another, but all of us are submitted to the Head, who is Christ Jesus. Amen.

I am the first one who has to submit. I have to submit to the church; I have to submit to Christ; I have to submit to the Word in order to lead you. The other pastors have to do the same as well. In the worship group, those who lead worship—for example, Brother Gonzalo—have authority. The pastor has delegated to him the leadership of the worship ministry. So first he prays and reads the Word, making sure that he is exercising his authority with meekness and love, and then he gives instructions. The others can talk with him if something is not right. Of course they can; a person can speak with his leader, but there must be clear direction. If everyone is saying, “No, I want this chorus to be sung in A minor,” while another says, “No, no, it has to be in A major,” and this and that, then there is no harmony, and everything gets bogged down.

It is the same with the ushers; the ushers have their role. There are different groups of ushers. Sister Cecilia López leads the team, and there are about six or eight different teams that take turns each Sunday. Those teams have their leader. Well, those leaders must govern with authority, submitted to their head, and those under them must also move in harmony. In that way, the glory of God is manifested. Amen.

The church has to learn to operate under authority, and we will not always agree with the people who lead us. That is where a person has to—now, I am not saying that there should be no process, no questions, or that a person cannot disagree with something. No. But instead of talking about your leader behind his back, whispering and making life difficult for him, look, go to your leader. Speak to him at the appropriate time, in private; speak respectfully and clearly, and that leader will then listen. He will tell you, “Look, I see it this way,” and then, with the Lord’s help, everything will turn out well. Even if you do not agree one hundred percent, at least we know that I have now discharged my responsibility, and now I am going to submit—and there is blessing in that, brothers and sisters.

A church is blessed. The same thing should happen at work, at school, within the family, and everywhere else: there must be people who know how to relate to the existing structures of authority. That is a great blessing for the church.

Look here in Ephesians chapter 5—I believe it begins with verse 21, if I am not mistaken. Look, I chose this passage specifically because I want to illustrate for you how the concepts of authority permeate the most ordinary things in life: the home, the workplace, and the relationship between parents and children. I have told you to remember this: the Bible is founded upon a structure in which the concept of authority is taken seriously, in which God is a God who establishes authorities and expects those authorities to be respected. Everything in the Bible seems to come together and be interpreted within a context of authority. There are words addressed to leaders, and there are words addressed to those under their leadership. And there is something like a loving dance between the two—the led and the leaders. Each submits to the other, and that allows there to be harmony in the home, at school, in the workplace, and in the church.

And if you look here at where the Apostle Paul speaks within the context of authority in the family and at work, you will see how these things are illuminated. Look at the first thing the Apostle Paul says in verse 21 of chapter 5:

“… submit to one another in the fear of God…” Submit to one another; there the subject of authority is already foreshadowed. How interesting: it says, submit to one another. What follows in the rest of this passage, in the rest of Chapter 5 and also in Chapter 6, is a detailed elaboration of that general word he has just given: submit to one another in the fear of God. What follows is an illustration of these concepts in different areas of life; it is an elaboration of that general concept. First he says:

“Submit to one another…” To submit means to accept authority, to place oneself under it, to obey a person’s command or direction. The Apostle Paul is not saying here, as it has sometimes been interpreted, that there are no distinctions in the family, for example, or that there are no relationships of authority. Certain theologians and Bible scholars, and particularly feminist literature or the egalitarian wing—these are terms I do not have time to explain—the egalitarian wing of the church has sometimes said that when the Apostle Paul says, submit to one another, it means that there is no difference, for example, in the home, between the man as the head of the household and the woman as the one who submits to the man. According to that view, everyone here is equal, there are no distinctions, there are no relationships of authority, everything is democratic, and everyone is at the same level of authority. That is not what the Apostle Paul means, and I hope to show you that.

Now, what that phrase about submitting to one another is saying is this: look, in the home, for example, the man as head of the household cannot simply say, well, I am the one in charge here, I am the one who gives the orders, and what I say goes. Period. Rather, as we will see in a moment, the man must take his wife into consideration, and he must consider the fact that his wife is a daughter of God and that she is his equal in terms of her dignity and standing before God. She is in no way inferior to him. The man cannot use the woman for his own benefit; the husband must not abuse his wife, exploit his wife, or ignore his wife’s rights and dignity. Instead, he submits to her in a sense, because he must engage in dialogue with her, consult her, recognize that she is another human being like him, and respect her dignity before making decisions. He must take her into account, and sometimes his wife will have every right in the world to tell him, look, you know what? You really blew it there; you were wrong. My wife sometimes does that with her characteristic gentleness. And the man will have to submit to the truth that she embodies at that moment.

In other words, marriage is not something unilateral, from the top down; rather, there is mutual submission. And in all these passages, in all these different relationships—husband and wife, children and parents, employer and worker—the Apostle Paul always uses the same pattern. First he says: recognize the authority of your leaders in that context. And second, he tells the leaders: now, do not abuse your authority; submit to the God-given dignity of those whom you lead, and make sure you are using your authority properly.

And I think that phrase, submit in the fear of God, is very revealing because, brothers and sisters, I believe that when one is going to exercise authority or submit to authority—look, nobody likes submitting to authority, do they? Wives do not like it. Be honest, sisters; be frank: you do not like acknowledging the authority of your husbands. But it says here, in the fear of God. Sometimes it is the word; it is what God has designed, and so there is a healthy fear that guides us to submit. But you know what? The husband must also exercise authority in the fear of God. Woe to the man who abuses, exploits, or oppresses his wife. God’s judgment is upon him, you know?

And we must exercise authority with a healthy fear before God and continually examine ourselves in light of the Word. Am I properly using the authority God has given me to bless my wife and bless my home? So that healthy fear of God must govern both the exercise of authority and submission to authority.

So Paul says, submit to one another in the fear of God… Now look at what follows in the case of wives and husbands. He tells the women: wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. That hurts, doesn’t it, sisters? It hurts; admit it.

“… because the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church, which is his body, and he is its Savior. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject to their husbands”—and here comes the hard part—“in everything.”

Say “ouch,” sisters. That hurts; someone over here said, “That hurts.” But do not worry, sisters. Hang in there just a little longer; grit your teeth, because something for you is coming in a moment.

Now, what am I to do with this word? I cannot remove it, I cannot erase it, I cannot select “wipe out” and take it out or tear out the page. It is there. As a pastor, I have to decide what I am going to do with that word. Either Paul was having a bad day, was upset with women, and wanted to make life difficult for them, or he was speaking in the Spirit and there is something hidden that God has in mind in establishing this relationship. There is something, I believe, that blesses a woman of God who is filled with the Holy Spirit and may even earn more money than her husband and sometimes be more intelligent. There have occasionally been women who are more intelligent than men; it is rare, but it happens. I have to admit that they are generally more intelligent than we are; that is true.

But for those mysterious reasons in life, God has seen fit to give the man corporate authority in the home. Now, you know what? Brothers, look, as I have told you before, if we men understood what it means to exercise authority in the spirit of Jesus Christ, we would continually run away from it: no, no, I do not want to be the head of the household; no, no, give it to her and let her take care of it. Because look, that function of authority carries more responsibilities than privileges. I believe that the only thing God gives you when he tells you that you are the head of the household is the obligation to pour yourself out so that your household will be blessed through your leadership. That is the only privilege you have. It is the responsibility of leading your household in the ministering spirit of Christ Jesus.

And sisters, I know that first part is difficult, but the bitter pill has already been swallowed. Now let me speak to the men. And it is interesting that the Apostle Paul devoted three verses to the responsibility of women and nine to the responsibility of men. I think he knew that we men are more stubborn, clumsier, and denser than women, and that we needed it drilled very clearly into us what it means to lead the household in the spirit of Jesus Christ. So, in that spirit of submitting to one another, Paul had already spoken to the woman; but now he tells those men who were getting a little puffed up because they were supposedly the head of the household: husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her.

Now let the men say “ouch.” Interestingly, the verb “love” applied to men—husbands, love your wives—is the same verb used for Christ, as Christ loved the church. Agapote is the verb for “love,” and agapesen is the verb used for how Christ loved the church.

And what it is saying is that the same manner, the same essence, and the same attitude with which Christ loved the church is what you must practice in your relationship with your wife. How did Christ love the church? The Apostle Paul does not want there to be any doubt about it, and he says that he gave himself for her. When you analyze what Christ did for his church, brothers and sisters, Christ fiercely defends his church; he is the Lion of Judah. Christ said, “The gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” Christ said, “I am leaving, but I will send a Comforter who will instruct the church and lead it into all truth,” and he delegated that task to the Holy Spirit. Christ poured himself out for the church. He left his glorious, divine heights, became a man, left the church instructions and teachings, lived with them for three years, left apostolic leaders to guide it, left his Word, climbed onto the cross, allowed his body to be broken, shed blood so that his church might exist, and afterward has been interceding for her every day.

And one day he is coming to take her as his bride at last, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. And man of God, I have to ask you, just as I must ask myself: am I loving my woman, my wife, as Christ loved the church? Every day, it is a question that the Christian leader must ask himself. The person exercising authority in the spirit of Jesus Christ must ask himself: can I truly say that my wife believes I am loving her the way Jesus would? It is a serious question we must ask ourselves, because that is how authority is to be exercised.

And the Apostle Paul, wanting these dense men to understand what he is saying, adds even more. He says: “… to sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water through the Word, in order to present her to himself as a glorious church…”

Look at that, brothers and sisters. In other words, everything Christ does—cleansing her, presenting her—the goal of the Christian leader in the home must be to lead his wife forward and ensure that, through the exercise of his leadership, his wife becomes everything God wants her to become. The husband must clear a space before his wife so that she can be built up, so that she can grow as a leader, and so that she can be healed of the wounds of her childhood and past. God makes you your wife’s pastor, servant of God, man of God, leader of God.

And God wants you to make sure that when the day comes for God to call you to account, he can say to you, “Okay, what did you do with the leadership I gave you in your home?” And you can tell him, “Well, Father, I did everything possible so that my wife, who is standing here with a big smile because her husband treated her well, could become that glorious, radiant woman you see there. I did everything possible to make that happen.”

And the Apostle Paul, inspired by the Holy Spirit, also adds here: “… that she should have no spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but that she should be holy and without blemish…”

So, brothers, hurry out and buy your wife two jars of skin cream; spend forty or fifty dollars so that your wife will have neither spot nor wrinkle. The Word of God says so. Husbands, we must make sure that God enables us to help our wives so that the flaws they have—the wounds of the past, the deformities, insecurities, and fears—will all begin to disappear. And the way we treat them should lead in that direction rather than doing the exact opposite, as we can so often do by actually reinforcing our wives’ flaws, insecurities, and fears. It says here that she should have no spot or wrinkle or anything like that—in case anything was left out there, “or anything like that.”

“… so husbands also ought to love their wives as their own bodies…”

You see all the images the Apostle Paul uses to make sure there is no doubt about how a man should exercise that authority in the home. Now, I say, brothers and sisters, that a man who treats his wife that way—I believe that woman would have to be wicked to try to hurt a husband who loves her in that manner, to try to undermine his authority, or to create some kind of difficulty for him. No, I believe that if that woman says, “Father, you have called me to submit to my husband’s leadership,” and that husband says, “Father, you have called me to bless my wife and make sure I watch over her, allowing no trace of selfishness, manipulation, deceit, or falsehood to enter into my treatment of her, but instead carrying out that task well…”

Brothers and sisters, I believe that is the glory of God. Divorce lawyers would starve; there would be no work for marriage counselors, because there would be blessing and glory. Why? Because there are leaders exercising authority in the spirit of Christ, and there are those being led—in this case, women—joyfully submitting to the authority of their leaders, their heads. And there is blessing; God’s grace flows. The children in the home are blessed, the household finances are blessed, that man is praying for the Lord to give him wisdom, to deal with him, and to make his character increasingly like Christ’s, and that wife is trying to bless her husband, respecting her husband, honoring him, and affirming his dignity.

You know what, brothers and sisters? We men have the most fragile egos in all humanity. God has made men hungry for honor and respect. A man is like a lion that needs to be respected. And you know what? Broadly speaking, what does a woman want most? Affection, tenderness, and validation in her role as a wife, a mother, and the manager of a household. A man is nourished by respect; that is why it says that the woman should respect her husband. A woman is nourished by the love and affection that are sometimes so difficult for us men to give—I am the first to raise my hand.

And so God says, let the woman give her husband that sense of, wow, you are my man, you are my macho man. I respect you and accept your leadership. And let the man say to her, you are my darling, I love you, I prefer you above all other women, so that there may be harmony in the home and both may feel that they are occupying their proper place in relation to one another. And that is why it says, submit to one another. There is blessing, and the home functions in a wonderful way.

I do not have time, but look, let us talk about the children for a moment. The children are sitting there completely at ease, saying, well, that is about Dad and Mom, but it does not apply to me. Now Paul turns to the children. Chapter 6 says:

“… Children, obey in the Lord …”

Do you see the parallel? Submit to one another in the fear of God. Here it says, obey in the Lord. Why does the Apostle Paul use these spiritual phrases? Why does he place obedience and the exercise of authority in the context of being in the Lord? Because authority cannot be exercised properly, nor can anyone submit to authority, except in the spirit of Jesus Christ, because this is a biblical truth, because only the Lord can help us exercise and obey authority correctly.

And that is why it says, children, obey in the Lord. I want to address you young adults, young people, adolescents who are here. Let me speak to you for a moment in English because I don’t want to give you any opportunity to resist what I’m saying. Oh, I don’t speak Spanish, therefore I don’t have to pay attention to the pastor.

No, I want to tell you, the Bible says here, children, obey your parents in the Lord. There is a special blessing, you see. I mean, we have to acknowledge the concept of authority in the home, and when a young person submits gladly, willingly, proactively to the leadership of their parents, to their exalted station as parents in the home, there is such a blessing for the daughter, for the son. I think we have done great harm to our children by denying them an understanding of the structures of authority that govern life and govern the biblical worldview. And there is blessing when a son or daughter actively honors their parents, when they submit gladly to their authority and their teaching. It is a spiritual thing; that is why he says, in the Lord. It is difficult in this modern age, which so greatly exalts individuality, criticism of authority, and the rights of the individual. It is very difficult for young people who have been raised and discipled in that secular frame of mind to adhere to this ancient model, which is really the only model of authority in relation to parents. I tell you, there is such a huge blessing in that. Young people, I want to encourage you; I want to bless you by giving you something that is a secret to blessing, prosperity, and long life: honor and obey your parents. Even if you are in college, even if you are in graduate school, even if you are an accomplished professional, when you honor your parents and enter into this powerful stream of thought that honors your authorities, there is a huge blessing involved. The blessing of God is released; prosperity and the favorable wind of the Spirit begin blowing at your back and advancing you in life. It is a beautiful thing, and you know, it begins by submitting to wisdom and by honoring. To honor means to actively prefer, to actively pay homage to, to proactively recognize a person’s exalted position and, in a sense, bow before their authority. There is a blessing in that.

You know, for many parents in the modern world, being a father or a mother is a burden. Many parents do not enjoy being parents these days because children have often not been quick to give their parents the kind of blessing they so deserve, and so parenting has been undermined. We have unwilling parents, and therefore we also have children who are not being served well by their parents, who secretly resent their role as parents.

And so I think, you know, it behooves young people, and it behooves me—whoever it may be—if you have an elder over you, bless them, acknowledge their authority, and make sure you make it easy, joyful, and enjoyable for them to exercise authority in your life, and you will be blessed by it. I assure you of that.

Then it says, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

It is the right thing to do. It is just, it says.

It is right for our children to obey their parents. Look, do you know what? Let me digress for just a moment. I am about to finish, do not worry, but there is a passage that was one of the passages that touched me most when I began preaching about authority, and that passage has always impressed me. It is in Proverbs, Chapter 30, verse 11, because it reminds me so much of one aspect of this modern generation, and it says:

“… there is a generation, there is a generation that curses its father and does not bless its mother …”

And I would say that certain aspects of the modern generation resemble the attitude we see here, where there is rebellion against parents today, and there is a society that inspires children not to give their parents the honor they are due. And the writer of Proverbs says:

“… there is a generation that curses its father and does not bless its mother; there is a generation that is pure in its own eyes, yet has not been cleansed of its filth; there is a generation whose eyes are haughty and whose eyelids are lifted high; there is a generation whose teeth are swords and whose molars are knives, to devour the poor of the earth and the needy from among mankind …”

God has something against that kind of generation, which closely resembles this generation in which we are living. And God does not want His church to participate in that mentality. God wants a church that blesses its authorities, blesses its elders, and blesses its parents.

Look at what verse 17 says in that same passage. It says, “… the eye that mocks its father and scorns its mother’s teaching …” Look how terrible this is. It says, “… may the ravens of the valley pluck it out and the young eagles devour it …”

Wow, that is God’s attitude toward a heart that rebels against parents. If I said that, people would tell me, the pastor is crazy; he needs to be taken somewhere else. But thank God it is the Word. It says, my brothers and sisters, that God views with great severity the rebellious heart of the child who does not bless his mother and does not listen to his mother’s counsel. He has God’s judgment against him, but the one who submits to and honors his father and mother has God’s blessing.

We are talking about very serious things, brothers and sisters, and that is why I do not want our young people in this church, at least, to fail to understand and hear this message: that they should bless their parents. I am blessed by those young people I see in my congregation who love and respect their parents. Listen, what a tremendous blessing! It is an honor for this church to have you young people. Do not let anyone change your mind about that. Do not be ashamed to submit to your parents, because there is blessing in that for your future, I assure you.

Now, what does it say? I will finish with this. It says, “… now, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but raise them in the discipline and admonition of the Lord …”

Just as He tells the children, submit to your parents, He tells the parents, but parents, do not abuse your authority. Some parents say, well, I am the father, and what I say goes in this house, and you have to wear those sneakers because I bought them for you, even though the poor children are utterly embarrassed at school because those sneakers are from 1945. But no, that is what you have to wear. And then there is the dress covered with flowers and little cartoon figures, and the poor girl is embarrassed there in the classroom, but that is what her mother bought her, and that is what she has to wear.

Brothers and sisters, be careful. I am not the owner of my daughters, nor are you the owner of your children; God is their owner. He created them. He has given them to you and to me so that we may care for them and train them, but understand clearly that your child is a human being and has rights that you must not violate. There is a soul there; there is a destiny that God has for that life, and you are the guardian of that destiny, but you are not going to determine it. You have to discern God’s secret gift in that child and then make sure that gift is shepherded and brought to its fullest expression. Always treat your children with authority, but also with immense respect, because the image of God is portrayed in them. Remember that. Do not abuse your children, do not oppress your children, do not lord it over your children, do not provoke them to anger. So many children are wounded today because their parents abused them, did not affirm them, and did not treat them with the dignity they deserve.

All of that is part of this matter of submitting to one another. I have to submit to my daughters in certain areas; I have to listen to what they say. Sometimes they have told me that I have made a mistake, and I bristle and become upset, but afterward I listen, reconsider, and try to make adjustments in certain areas because I know they also have something they can say to me. And so we have to submit; the same is true with my wife.

In other words, all of this is a loving interplay; it is a beautiful dance in which one submits to the other. Sometimes one leads and the other follows, and sometimes the other follows and the first one leads, and it is a great blessing. But when the Holy Spirit is moving in a family, it is the glory of God. We submit to one another, exercise authority, submit to authority, delegate authority, decentralize authority, and train people so that they can then exercise authority. It is a great blessing.

Am I making myself understood, brothers and sisters, or has the Holy Spirit made Himself understood among us? God grant that in our family life, our church life, and our lives as leaders in the church—wherever you may be, whether you are an employer or a supervisor in a school or factory—you make sure that you are using your authority in the spirit of Jesus Christ, and that the reasonable people around you, where you work or exercise authority, can say, do you know what? This man, this woman, is not perfect, but he or she is doing the best he or she can, and I feel that I am being led well, and I owe him or her respect. There is a great blessing in that.

God grant, brothers and sisters, that with each passing day our church may move more and more toward leading and submitting to authority in the spirit of Jesus. Amen. Let us stand. Let us give glory and honor to the Lord on this day. Let us say to Him, Father, thank You for Your Word; thank You because we have been in Your house and You have spoken to us, You have ministered to us. I bless you in the name of Jesus, my brothers and sisters. May God guide us more and more.