Grief

If there is one thing I have always found difficult to cope with, it is the loss of loved ones, and even more so when it is a child. I have a son; the mere thought of losing him brings indescribable pain. That is why I can feel the pain of those going through this trial, and I know that the only comfort is found in our Lord.

Some time ago, a mother asked me whether, even after death, one could intercede for the forgiveness of her son’s sins and for his salvation. There are so many things I do not know! It would have been presumptuous of me to tell her that after physical death there was no comfort, but God is so merciful! We will never grasp the full extent of His love for us. I simply answered her: “If your heart tells you to pray for your son’s soul, do it. If it comforts you, do it, no matter what anyone may tell you. Only God knows to what extent He hears a mother’s plea.”

I know how intense the pain is, and the desperation and helplessness of being unable to do anything about it. But we must learn to live with our heavy burdens, and He is the only one in whom we can find rest from them.

God tells us in 1 Corinthians 5:5, “Let such a one be delivered to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that the spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord Jesus.”

So what is God telling us? Is it sometimes better for the body to be destroyed so that our soul is not lost? I want to believe it is better that way, that God allows the body to be lost so that the soul may be saved. We will know the truth only when God calls us to His eternal dwelling.

I once read the testimony of a father in Colombia whose Christian son was murdered. He said, “We have eight children. All of them are alive: one is in heaven, and seven are here on Earth.”

Physical death is very painful, but for Christian parents, the spiritual death of our children is just as painful, if not more so. In the streets, and even in our homes, there are corpses who walk and work, far from God and the forgiveness He offers.

When we see our children walking on the “path of death” (Jeremiah 21:8, James 5:20), we suffer deeply, and all we can do then is pray for them, appeal to divine mercy, and beg God to do the work of the Holy Spirit in their lives.

But faith devoted to persevering prayer does not make the pain disappear completely. Waiting for their spirits to grow in God’s time is exhausting for our souls, and only Grace can sustain us, because we realize how fragile we are and how little control we have over ourselves and those we love.

God knows this and comforts us in our tribulations. (2 Corinthians 1:4) He knows what it is to see a son die; He knows suffering. That is why God does not judge us for our suffering. In His immense mercy, He tells us: “My grace is sufficient for you; for my power is made perfect in weakness.”