Better at a Distance Without Losing Touch

It is 5:30 a.m. I get up quickly because my son’s breakfast depends on me. I know he is not a baby, but to me age is relative. At 20, my baby has to leave for a class, and his mother makes sure he leaves well fed.

6:00 a.m. I wake him up. ‘Nina, a little longer; come, lie down with me.’ How gladly I lie down for a few more minutes! But not to sleep. I try to position myself so that I can stroke his head, but I cannot do it so close to him; I have to move away so that my hand can rest comfortably and the loving gesture I give my son can be pleasant for him.

He dozes; I think. I cannot be so far from him that I lose touch and fail to realize what is happening in his life. I cannot be so close that my love, instead of being pleasant, becomes a hindrance.

That is how it is with our children. The distance must be carefully measured. We cannot be so busy with the affairs of life that we fail to realize when we need to intervene. It has nothing to do with age; even when they are old, if we are present, they will come to us in every trial God allows them to go through—provided that we have taught them that we are the rock placed by God on this earth for them to cling to. And if we are no longer here, we must make it very clear that they have an Eternal Rock to cling to. Therefore, our departure must be settled beforehand with God, so that we do not leave our children helpless, but rather with a legacy of security, accompanied by the supreme King, whose company is far better than ours.

Distance keeps us from suffocating them. We cannot hover around their lives, because, if we remember correctly, when others hovered around ours, we erected an impenetrable fortress; we wanted no intruders. What makes us think our children will be any different?

We must be prudent; they will thank us for it, because in the end we will leave behind in this world people who are prepared to prepare others. And in the end, if we achieve that balance and our children see in us what God expects, we will meet in that place He has prepared for those who love Him. Until then, not so far away that we lose touch; not so close that we make them wish to lose it.