A Tribute to Single Mothers

I was thinking this morning as we were blessing the mothers, and again today as I watched that beautiful group of women come up here to the front, I was thinking about how the sisters bless our church, bless our community, and I also thought about a segment of our church that has been such a blessing to me over the years: those mothers whom we sometimes call single mothers.

But they are not necessarily or exclusively single mothers, because many of them have been married and perhaps, for one reason or another, their marriages ended up shattered. Some are indeed mothers who had their children at another stage in their lives and do not have a husband, a spouse, but in any case, they are those hardworking and courageous women in our church who are mother, father, providers for their households, and guardians. Sometimes they are warriors for their children and tell the devil, “You are not getting through here.” Sometimes they are warriors who struggle with their children and tell them, “You are not going out of here.” But whatever they may be, they are women who bless us with their spiritual gifts and their blessing.

In the book I have just written, I included something that I want to read in order to bless those women who are such a blessing to our church. Those “single mothers”—in quotation marks—who are not single at all, because they have a husband who is their Father, their heavenly God, who loves them and is their warrior. You are not alone, my sisters, and we bless you in the name of the Lord.

But I want to point out what you are to our lives and also acknowledge that our churches need to know how to minister to you. As a Latino church in the United States, we need to learn how to bless you.

I believe that the values exemplified here apply to all the women in our church—married, unmarried, mothers, not mothers, single, or whatever you may be. You are an example, and you are exemplary women.

I say here: “Related to the challenge of youth, the Hispanic Church also confronts the challenge of the single mothers who abound in our churches. Some of the most powerful leaders in our church are precisely those hardworking and courageous women who must play the role of both mother and father every day, providing materially for their children, serving as spiritual mentors, maintaining discipline over troubled teenagers, and frequently serving their congregations faithfully.

I admire their courage, their fierce determination to live graciously without losing their good humor or zest for life. To me, they are an eloquent example of faith and persistence amid overwhelming challenges and trials, of incredible generosity and the ability to forgive, of a fierce love that refuses to be defeated by ingratitude or thoughtlessness.

These exemplary women frequently struggle with depression and discouragement, physical exhaustion, or a sense of loneliness and powerlessness. Sometimes they feel unable to defend their children from the harmful influence emanating from the youth culture in which they move. They often become desperate when their sons reach that difficult age at which they feel compelled to assert their masculinity and independence, and the mothers do not know how to handle or counsel them, or how to balance tolerance with discipline.

Many of these women hold demanding and exhausting jobs that leave them very little time to care for themselves, to set aside a few hours for rest and recovery, or simply to talk with their children. They frequently struggle inwardly with the wounds of the past, with memories of their husbands’ abandonment or of sexual abuse during childhood.

They desire a father figure for their sons or simply long for the warmth and companionship of a husband to fill their emotional lives.

Sometimes they struggle for a while with the temptation of a romantic relationship that they instinctively know will not be good for either them or their children, but at times they end up succumbing to the powerful need to break free from the loneliness and emptiness that haunt them so persistently.

Many single mothers come to our church and find there the refuge they so desperately need for themselves and their children. The spiritual renewal they experience and the discovery of a community that provides them with support and counsel for navigating the difficult situations they frequently confront give new meaning to their lives. Very soon, many of them grow and flourish like a little plant thirsting for water and light that was simply waiting for the right conditions to reach its full potential.

They receive the Gospel with joy and eagerness and, like the Samaritan woman, after meeting Jesus they very quickly become effective evangelists whose enthusiasm is contagious. These women bring with them a treasure of human and spiritual potential. When they receive the nutrients they need, they frequently become valuable resources for their congregations. They are experts at giving and serving. Their painful past experiences and the burdens life has placed upon their shoulders have made them spiritually gifted people who are sensitive to the needs of others, wise far beyond their intellectual capacity.

They display an exquisite sensitivity to the things of the Spirit and readily respond to the teachings of the Gospel, like the believers in Berea in the Book of Acts, who “received the Word with all eagerness.”

Sisters, we bless you in the name of the Lord, you hardworking and courageous women.

We will always pray for you.

And what I go on to discuss in the book is that our Hispanic churches in the United States need to find a way to minister to that segment, that sector of our congregations, and to help you—and I believe we could refer to all mothers, whatever their circumstances may be. Being a mother is not easy in these times, but we must help them bear those burdens, provide them with encouragement, emotional healing, counseling, help with their children, and youth programs that also provide sound teaching for their children, as well as programs that will prevent there from being so many mothers in the future who have to confront life alone.

I believe we need to speak to our young people—often the young men—whose sexual insecurities, sometimes caused by not having fathers at home who can serve as role models, lead them to seek to assert their sexuality and masculinity in inappropriate ways. And sometimes situations arise from that which are harmful to our community.

Thank God for this program we have here, called “Worth the Wait,” through COPANI and the federal government. With these funds we are using right now, a class began at one o’clock that dozens of our young people here at León de Judá are attending, dealing with the subject of sexuality.

Why? Because we need to educate our young people about all these things and prepare them for that fierce world out there.

But in the meantime, today, on Mother’s Day, we greet you in the name of Jesus.

Mothers, be blessed; and those single mothers, who, as I say, are not single because they have their God with them, we bless you and recognize the extraordinarily special work you do. Let that be our tribute to you on this day.

Sermon by Dr. Roberto Miranda recorded May 10, 2009, at Congregación León de Judá

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